I have just finished reading the many comments and emails that I have received from many of you. I can not even begin to express my thanks for the prayers and support that you all have surrounded our family with. It has been an amazing testimony of God to me.
Here are some specific prayer requests that may help you in your prayers for us. (I know I don’t even have to ask for prayer anymore, you would give it anyway.)
-pray for Elise, that she would have understanding. She seems to accept easily that Emma is rejoicing (and crawling, as this is something Elise always wished for her) in heaven. Right now she is more questioning me about my sadness. I have tried to prepare her that there will still be many tears, and explained to her why I am sad. I have learned from her cues how to talk to her about this. One way was to talk about Emma’s new body and when she said she wanted to go see Emma crawling I had a very clear example to use for her why I am sad. I told that we don’t get to see Emma right now even though she is so happy and that is why it is sad for us. Added note: Elise’s greatest fear right now seems to be that I will be leaving too. I can see why this would be as for the last 5 months, where Emma went Mommy went. She is responding well to my reassurance, but continue to pray for this.
-pray for John. He wanted it to be said that Emma’s memorial services are a time of celebration more than they are of sorrow. He is starting a job next week so I am sure he would appreciate prayer during this time of transition and the sorrow that is robbing him of the excitement of this new job.
-pray for me. My hardest thing right now will be getting enough sleep. For one thing my body is used to waking to care for Emma, but also this stress I am feeling is just a bit similar to postpartum depression and I know that the hardest physical thing I dealt with was actually turning my mind off to go to sleep. During the day I have kept so busy and am around so much family that I have been able to laugh and even talk of Emma without tears. After dark the hollowness begins to creep back into my soul. Also I think the hardest time for me will be after the services and the bustle of family visiting has passed. It will hit me hardest when it is time to go back to “normal.” I don’t know what that is for me anymore. I have lost a huge part of my purpose and even my “work” for each day.
-pray for grandparents, aunts, uncles, and even great-grandparents. They as well as all of you are sharing deeply in this grief with us. Emma’s life was special in that even though she did not personally spend a lot of time with you many of you have shared that you felt as if you knew her well. Not only have I lost a daughter, but many have lost a neice, grand-daughter, and friend.