I realized tonight that the last time I posted was fairly depressing, so I just wanted to let everyone know that we are doing much better. The waves of sadness hit hard when they do hit, but don’t last long. It seems like the sadness, when it is there, is much deeper than it was before.
John and I enjoyed a weekend away in Tulsa. We spent most of our time, relaxing and shopping. On the 22nd, which marked 2 months since Emma’s death, I was hit with another wave of sadness. Oddly though, I did not even think of the significance of the day at the time. John and I were sitting outside at a resteraunt, enjoying good food and beautiful weather, when I suddenly felt very sad. If I hadn’t been in a public place I think I would have bawled. We walked along the river afterwards and I was able to share how I felt with John, who could also share that it happens in waves like that for him as well. We didn’t last long on the subject, instead talked about Elise, our plans, and other misc. stuff. It was a very good time for us.
Last night I had some anxiety that I dealt with that kept me up into the night. I hope this will not be a reoccuring thing, so pray that it won’t. It was one of those times when I felt that there may be evil in my house. The Lord brought me the much needed peace to sleep, and I felt better. I just don’t feel that I am strong enough right now to fight a spiritual battle, but I guess I shouldn’t be surprised if the Evil One is lying in wait for me. All I can do is rely on God’s strength as I have none of my own.
Elise’s scar is healing nicely. She got her stitches out on Friday. She has been having some trouble with overall irritability. I am not sure if there is an underlying cause to this or if she is just dealing with normal 3 year old stuff. Pray for patience and wisdom for John and I as it would be much easier to just let her go her own way right now and I know that isn’t right.
Thanks, as always, for your prayers.