I am finding that the anticipation of our visit with the cardiologist next week is affecting me. I am missing Emma in a much more real way. It is like stepping back into her world for just a bit and that is hard. I sat down for a little yesterday and wondered how it would be. What would bring tears to my eyes? Will seeing the doctors face? Will seeing the other children in the waiting room, many of them on oxygen, do so? What will I say if some friendly parent decides to ask me why we are there? Will I feel lost in the hospital without Emma, or will it still feel like the second home it was for me for so long? Don’t get me wrong, I am not really dreading it, but just viewing it with a bit of nervousness. I don’t want to dwell on it too much, but I do want to be prepared as it is going to be hard and I am just beginning to glimpse maybe how hard. Please keep us in your prayers on Thursday. The appointment is at 2:00.
2 thoughts on “Anticipation.”
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And Then There Was Joy 
Miriam,
I have little doubt that you will experience flashback. It won’t be one thing that does it, but rather the combination of sights, smells,
sounds, & the doctors & nurses. You will re-live
a lot of things. But it may be just another step to healing. We will pray that you will be a blessing to them as they are to you.
We love you so much.
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I bet, and am praying, that God will give you strength while you are there…the hardest part may be coming home to think on everything he says.
Not that I can say anything you don’t know, but He’s with you…always. You’re HIS child and He loves you so very much…lean on Him. You will always miss Emma, but you will be a great mom to Elise and any other children God decides to give to you and John.
Speaking of…anything I say here goes for John too. I don’t know you as well, but since God chose you for Miriam I know you’re perfect 🙂
Happy Father’s Day to you!
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